This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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