i just wanna soil my oats bro
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
