is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
