I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
