And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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