can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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