you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
MIDGETS
????
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
