Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
