At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize