It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
