I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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