grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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