Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
