Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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