absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
