His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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