Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
