Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
handjob tips. give me some.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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