Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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