u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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