onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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