ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
