I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
