Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
