why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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