Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
