Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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