I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
