i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
