he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
