dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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