You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
