I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
