jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
