Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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