So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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