Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
