The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
