i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
