We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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