Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
