you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize