And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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