Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize