Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize