Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can I color on your dick again?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
