my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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