Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Come share oat with me in your robe
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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