i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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