Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My vagina is officially offended.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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