Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
