She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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