yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
