I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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