He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
