when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
