I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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