Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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