the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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