i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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